Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
