Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
