well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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