Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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