you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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