Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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