dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
