Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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