and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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