I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
