I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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