im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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