butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize