why didn't you poke me back
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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