wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
