Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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