he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
