im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
