Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
