it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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