I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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