You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
