i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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