i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
