also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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