oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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