once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
