I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
