your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
