Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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