Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
