he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
