Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
