my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
