Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
As shirtless as possible
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize