never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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