i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
