Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
