I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
"it" just moved
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
