I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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