Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
