In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
