I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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