I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
