VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
