she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
