Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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