she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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