Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
