Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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