Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
