Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
