hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
