What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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