Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
