Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
