did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
