i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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