Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
