I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
