i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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