Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize